Editing Sample

Reverse 1999

The initial release of Reverse 1999 was plagued with an interesting localization. While the game's voice acting, new take on a turn based card battle system, and time warping setting created a wonderful game, it was hard to ignore the constant grammar errors and stilted dialogue.

For practice, I cleaned up the text and rewrote some lines of dialogue to maintain each character's dialogue styles and tone of voice. I detail my method below, but if you want to skip to the entire end result, just hit the button right below.

Editing Spread Sheet

Transcribe

The first step was to get the script for the game. Sadly, as a new game, I couldn't find a script online and thus had to transcribe it myself. Thankfully, Reverse 1999 has a solid replay scene and log system that made my life easier.

Copy Editing

My first pass, I cleaned up the simple grammar errors. Simple things like having the wrong tense, or not having the subject in a sentence.

Original Text	Post Edit Test	Editor's Note
This is where Vertin has never been.	Vertin had never been to this area.	Cleaning up grammer

Character	Original Text	Edited Text	Notes
Vertin	You are awake ... How do you feel? Any discomfort?	You're both awake... How do you two feel? Any discomfort?	Adding context that Vertin is talking to two people
APPLe	Exactly. If it is a place full of serious old men, Regulus must not be interested in it. Sorry for this APPLe's interruption.	Sorry for this APPLe's Interruption, but if the Foundation is a place full of serious old men, Regulus will not be interested in it.	Clarifying that it's the Foundation

Adding Context

This translation seemed to translate several sentences without context. This may be due to the language difference as many Asian languages omit context in sentences if it has been said before, but this creates awkward sentences in English as a subject or object is needed for a clear sentence. Adding back the context fixes this issue.

The next step is to find any sentences that feel awkward. This is doubly important for Reverse 1999 since every line except the narration is voiced.

Smoothness

Character	Original Text	Edited Text	Notes
Sonetto	We must rescue our teammates, complete the mission before the "Storm," and return to the research center.	We must rescue our teammates, complete the mission, and return to the research center before the "Storm" arrives.	Listing all the tasks before the restriction for smoothness
Sonetto	Nothing special. All thanks to Timekeeper's help ...	Nothing special. It was all thanks to the Timekeeper's help ...	Article needed since Timekeeper is a title not a name
Vertin	I'm not like you, and you know that well. I haven't been trained systematically for the battle of arcanum ... my classmate	I'm not like you, and you know that well. I haven't been trained to use arcanum for battle ...	Adding my classmate at the end of a sentence feels awkward in spoken English

Maintaining Voice/Tone

When editing, it's important to maintain the correct voice and tone of the characters in their dialogue.

APPLe and Sonetto are very formal and proper, where as Regulus is much more bombastic and casual in her speech.

I need to maintain these characteristics when editing.